Houses built with a view to allowing (by design or default) a constant flow of air both under, over and through (by virtue of holey floorboards and impossible-to-close windows) work wonderfully well in summer, which to be fair lasts around 9 months of the year.
But in what passes for winter in these here parts, these flimsy little beach shacks are to be quite frank, frickin' freezing.
Oh, I know - not really freezing, but lawks a lawdy Mizz Claudy, this morning it was all of 1.8 degrees. Celcius.
Indoors, this can mean temps of as little as not much different. By the time I cracked the ice blanket covering the doona, it was a balmy 8C in my house, which rose to a moderate 14C with a short blast of air-conditioning.
Don't worry, in a few short months the weather will clear and all will be complaining about the trickle of sweat down the small of their backs as the mercury hovers around the 30C mark, and the humidity makes our eyeglasses fog up when making the transition from air-conned car to airless outdoors.
But in the meantime:
Give me strength.
Failing that, give me one of these:
It's an electric fireplace; a casual $899, for which price I could kick a hole in the walls of my flimsy beach shack, install a long pipe to an old woodstove, and get the exact same effect.
The $899 should cover the cost of paying someone to replaster the walls around the boothole, pipe and subsequent fire damage when it all goes to hell and I have to inform the landlady about my little 'renovation rampage'.
So perhaps I will get a rather cheaper version, with the same pseudo-fireplace effect; faux cosiness in a can really. An imitation cast-iron can that is.
Or I could just use this:
And my imagination.